Beguiled

All characters appearing in this work

are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Those memories...that life...growing up...friends..family...All running past. Maybe life is moving faster than me. Sitting in a corner, looking at the ceiling fan rotating...reminding me of the time spent with my mother....the only purest love I knew...

It was almost 34 years ago, that I opened my eyes to this world. My mother warmly holding me in her arms...little did I know that this is the only love ...true love...in this world. I had been a blessing (Mannat) as I was born to my parents, after having four daughters.

Naturally, I was very pampered in my household. However, I was always attentive, very interested in school, especially in maths. The spatial objects and astrophysics always fascinated me.

My first tryst with pain came 16 years later when I lost my mother. That is the first time I came to know that everything around us is temporary, However, I could never come to terms with the loss, As Newton's law says " Energy cannot be destroyed, it can be converted from one form to another " I must find my mother.

This thought propelled me even more towards understanding science/physics. A few years later I earned my seat at a famous engineering college. It was a great feeling ... as I was the only student from my household to do so... especially so to look at my father's sense of pride.

But this seemed like a mirage ...more so engineering wasn't so interesting as I thought it would be. All of a sudden I heard somebody calling out my name ..well it was the college professor asking me to come on stage to explain a theorem ...on stage, I said " The Navier-stokes equation is the differential equation that describes the force balance at a given point of time in a fluid ....and कभी कभी कुछ जीतने के लिए कुछ हारना भी पड़ता है...और हरके जीतने वाले को बाज़ीगर कहते है.." The whole class erupted into thunderous laughter, that's when I realized my true calling.

I started training myself to become an actor, much to the annoyance of my father. One day I saw two cats fighting for a piece of meat, there were 2 pieces of meat one large, one small. Eventually, the cat which won got the larger piece and the other cat had to settle for the smaller piece. The other cat settled for the smaller piece because she had an option. I don't want to have any other option ...I left engineering mid-way...damaging my relationship with my father forever.

I came to Mumbai...like many others ...to make it big in Bollywood. The very first thing I saw in Mumbai was Mannat, to worship my Idol. Seeing him wave to thousands of us bystanders truly restored my faith once more.

I really trained and worked hard over the years to make it. Eventually " किसी चीज को पुरी शिद्दत से चाहो तो पूरी कायनात उससे तुमसे मिलान की कोशिश में जुड़ जाती है"

As I started getting opportunities, and I always believed opportunity lost is success denied, I always pushed myself to do better.

Moving from TV soaps to the big screen finally I realized my dreams of making it big in Bollywood.

Today looking back I feel it's an unbelievable journey...a journey I thoroughly enjoyed. But I can't win every time...not always...failure disappointments ...no I am God's favorite child...How can he be so partial to me? How can someone deny me success, I haven't been bogged down by anyone...no one can sideline my films.....when I am more talented than others...this world isn't fair....or maybe I made the wrong career choice...

As I look up the ceiling fan rotating mercilessly ...yes my times running out ...Mother I lost my aim in life...I moved away from the path to search for you..I am so sorry...I am coming to you...